Thank you Mom

I've been keeping a list of things I want to thank my mom for.  I was going to put it together and publish the blog on her birthday in May, but I don't want to wait.  I want my mom to know just how awesome and special she really is.  Here it goes....

First, Mom, thank you for naming me "Janet".  You named me after your best friend Janet Gardner.  You met her when you were both in Nursing School and remained best friends, like sisters, until her death on December 3, 2017.  

Growing up, I always felt honored to be named after your friend but it was only when I became an adult, and spent time around the two of you, did I fully appreciate and understand this honor.  The bond, love and friendship you two shared was an amazing thing to witness.  You two shared so many adventures, triumphs and tragedies in your lifelong friendship. You remained best friends until the day she died and I know you miss her greatly.   I am honored and proud to be named "Janet" and I only pray that I can live up to her and do the name justice. 

Thank you for bringing us up in such a loving home. I never, ever doubted the deep love that you and Dad had for each other.  I know that times weren't always easy, but you always presented us with a united front.  You taught me that love is a commitment and you stay the course. 

Thank you for the great and clever Halloween costumes you made when we were growing up.  You made some pretty amazing costumes for me and Cathy!  You made Halloween fun for us and created some great memories. 

And Christmas too!  And every holiday...St. Patrick's Day, Easter, Fourth of July... every holiday had it's own tub filled with decorations. You took such great joy in putting out the decorations each year.  In fact, when it was time to go through your things and pack up the house to move, I do believe that you labored most over the tubs of holiday decorations.  You didn't want to get rid of anything. Even when Cat instructed you to hold it and ask yourself "does it give me joy?", you answered "Yes".  To EVERYTHING! 😊 And so the tubs came with you to North Haven. 

Thank you for that spring day when you and Bernie were waiting in the front yard for Cathy and me to come home from school.  Bernie was young, barely crawling, but you both were outside, sitting in the grass, waiting for us. I can still remember coming up the road and seeing you both there.  Such a simple thing, but look, I remember it and treasure it more than 45 years later.  

Thank you for always making sure that we sat down to eat dinner at the table every night.  When I say that now, it seems so old-fashioned and outdated, but it really was a strong bonding place while we were growing up.  It's sad that children don't have this and I believe that it is a loss for them.  I'm glad you provided us with that experience. 

Thank you for making sure that your parents were such a strong presence in our lives growing up.  Going to Prospect to see Vo-Vo and Feety, not only for the holidays, but all those times during the week, was special to me.  And again, one I didn't appreciate at the time, but I do now as an adult. I love that you wanted us to know your parents and I admired your commitment to them.

Thank you for being there that day as I was walking home in the torrential rain. You were a RN and you worked days while we were at school.  We lived too close to the high school to ride the bus (we were just under 2 miles) so we walked every day.  Both ways.  As a side note, we lived on 'Long Hill Road', so yes, we did walk up a hill everyday.  And the road was called "Long Hill" so it was, well, it was a tough walk home.  And we lived in CT so there was absolutely snow involved.  Anyway....

This one day I was walking home and you drove up along side of me and picked me up.  I won't embellish the story and say that you bolted from work to pick up your child so she wouldn't have to walk 2 miles, up Long Hill, in the torrential rain, but for some reason, I was soaked to the bone and you pulled up along side of me.  Just like that you were there.  I never expected you to be there. I never asked you to be there. But there you were. That feeling of seeing your car and getting out of the rain has never left me. 

Thank you for not forcing me to eat meat.  For as long as I can remember, I never really liked meat.  I didn't like the texture, I didn't like the idea of it, and honestly, the taste never appealed to me either.  I was around 11 or 12 when I decided this and you never forced me.  You made sure that I had the right things to eat, but you never made me eat meat. 

Thank you for not saying "Well, I hate you too", when I screamed "I hate you!!" too many times during those awful teenage years. 

Thank you for sending me jars of peanut butter while I was in basic training.  Every care package contained a jar of peanut butter.  You weren't going to have me go through basic training without peanut butter. 

Thank you for coming to see me graduate from Basic Training.  I appreciate that you and Dad came to Ft. Jackson even though it was later because I was hurt and on crutches.  You both made the time to come see me and I appreciate that.  That was one of the hardest things I had ever done to date, but it never occurred to me to quit, I knew you were both proud of me for joining and I wanted to make you prouder by finishing. 

And thank you for saving all the letters I sent home from my Ft. Jackson days.  You gave me the package with all the letters a while back and it was such a thoughtful thing for you to do - save them for me.  To be able to read the letters and experience basic training and my school training again...all those things I forgot. 

Thank you for letting me move back home when I left the house to go live with a boy that was awful and treated me badly.  And when I called 6 months later, you let me come back home.  That was an incredibly hard call for me to make and I'm glad (now) that you didn't make it easy for me.  I had hurt you and Dad deeply, but you didn't say "No" and you let me come back home. 

Thank you for the intervention all those years ago when my weight had gotten dangerously low.  I never saw it, I couldn't see it. But you saw it. And you needed to get me help. Thank you. 

Thank you for being the woman at the party wearing the sweatshirt with glitter, the hat that twinkles and the smile on your face.  Your love of life is contagious. 

Thank you for loving my friend Emil too.  You always asked about him and sent him cards.  You loved him because he was a good and kind person, but also because I loved him so.  His death really hit me and you felt the loss too. 

Thank you for remembering all our favorite foods and making them for us.  You know what cake, barbeque sauce and chips Austin likes.  You know what Leah likes for her birthday and what kind of drink all the grandchildren like.  You remember all those little details because it is important to you to make people feel loved.  

Thank you for making me proud to be your daughter more times than I can count.  When I worked at Elim Park, you were in charge of the South Wing.  I will always remember seeing you at work and seeing the respect you received.  Everyone from the other RN's, to the head of Administrations, respected you.  You deserved it.  You are the most ethical and honest person I know.  You never made a decision out of anger, resentment or spite.  Everyone knew that Nora Pech would treat you fairly.  You may not like the answer you got, but it was fair. And you can't argue with that. Bill is exactly the same way.  He is the fairest person I know, next to you.  

Thank you for welcoming my husband into the family.  When I introduced this man, who was 16 years my senior, all those year ago, both you and dad couldn't have been happier for me.  You always remember his birthday and our anniversary like he was your own child and that means a lot to me, and to him.  And when you come to visit us, seeing the two of you, two of my most favorite people in the whole world together, just makes me love you both even more. 

Thank you for watching Ginger for us all those times we went on vacation.  We never put her in a kennel and you came to our house and watched her.  

Thank you for sharing the guest room with Missy.  She is a bit of a brat and likes things the same way all the time.  But you let her into your room in the morning, way before you are ready to get up, just so she doesn't have to sit outside the door crying. 

Thank you for being such a good friend to so many.  Your loyalty to your friendships is an inspiration to me.  The fact that you have had friends for over 60 years, that blows my mind!  But I'm not surprised.  You came to SC and I introduced you to my friends, and now, they are your friends too.  Everyone loves Nora and they all ask about you and want to know when you are coming down again. 

Thank you for loving all four of your children the same.  You never pit us against each other or made us compete for your love and attention.  You love us all the same, and you love us all differently.  You allowed us to be individuals. 

Thank you for being such a cheerleader for everything I do.  Whether it's my cards, my writing, my photography or serving on a board, whatever I do, whatever I tackle, you never doubt my ability to do a good job.  Having you say "I am proud of you" means more to me than I can ever expressed.

Thank you mom, for all these things, and for all the million other things that you do for me and for so many other people.  I am the person I am today because of you.  Thank you. 💗