Thursday, April 28, 2022

Our Little Worm Eater

Say hello to our little worm eater.....

Yup! This sweet little girl? She's a worm eater! Charming isn't it? Missy has lived with us for almost 12 years, and this worm eating thingy just surfaced about 6 months ago. It's one step up from her cat poop eating habit, but not by much.

At first, Missy would eat the occasional dried up worm she found while we were out in the neighborhood walking. Lately, she has become OBSESSED with eating every dead worm she finds. I imagine for Missy that taking a walk is like an all-you-can-eat buffet.  Four times a day.

Thank goodness (for her and me) she does not eat live worms. At this point, she seems to only have a taste for dried-up crusty worms. And if they have been run over by a car and are smushed to the pavement?  That is not a deterrent to this gal. She will get down and gnaw on it to get it loose. Missy doesn't mind working a little bit for her worm. 

I had a long talk with our vet Dr. Vaughn about this. I was worried about the health risks of her eating worms. I was also worried that maybe there was something else going on that triggered this behavior all of a sudden - some health issue. Dr. Vaughn, whom I believe loves Missy just as much as we do, assured me that this little habit of Missy's, disgusting as it is, is really harmless and not uncommon in dogs.   

He said he talked to the other Vets at the office, and did some research, and as long as they are the earth worms she is eating, there is really no harm. He told me that he had two suggestions, but he knew I wouldn't like either.  One was to try a "behavior" medication - something like Prozac. Pass. The other was to put a muzzle on her when we walk. Definitely a pass. 

So, that is where we are at now. We share our house with a worm eater. Bless her little heart! 💓  




Friday, April 15, 2022

Repost: "Listen to my Heart" 1/14/2014

This morning I received an email from "Legacy" reminding me of my friend Leslie Lepre's passing.  April 17th will be 9 years since Leslie's death. I think of her often because she was a kind and sweet friend. I also think about her struggles and the pain she was feeling leading up to that day. What I have learned since is to listen to what is being said, as well as not being said. Bless you Leslie and rest in sweet eternal peace. 

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *
While going through some emails this week, I came across some emails from my friend Leslie.  The good thing about being a 'saver' is that I have these wonderful treasures from my friend.  This is also what makes it a sad thing. The 17th of April will be one year since Leslie died and I miss her.

Leslie and I had very similar interests and taste, so it is not rare for me to be reminded of her and miss our friendship.  But as I read her words now, I find that I have so many different and deeper emotions than last year. 

I met Leslie through email when we both worked at ESPN.  Our work correspondence very quickly developed into a friendship when we realized we were both mad about chocolate.  Like crazy mad about chocolate.  Soon we found that we had a lot more than chocolate in common and we would talk, write and visit often.

Leslie loved to hear stories about Ginger. If she wasn't giving me chocolate, she was giving me treats to bring home to Ginger.  One of the emails I came across was one that was written after we had lost Ginger in 2011 very suddenly to cancer.  Leslie wrote to tell me she was heartbroken not only because she loved Ginger, but because she knew how much I loved Ginger.  That's the kind of friend she was.  She was always so thoughtful and cognizant of other people's needs and feelings.

Over the past few years, we weren't in contact quite as often.  We would reach out to the other whenever we had read a good book or found an awesome vintage website.  Those were two of our most common interests and we always shared new information with the other.


Leslie had a kind and gentle heart. She was also a very private person.  She held her pain and sadness very tightly and silently.  I knew she often felt overwhelmed, but I never pushed her to tell me more than she was comfortable telling me.

I should have pushed. 

Our friendship was built on what I now know were 'safe' topics. She would want to know all about the treasures I've found in South Carolina, and she'd share with me her Connecticut finds.  I would ask her about the clothes the women were wearing on "Mad Men" and she would suggest books for me to put on my list to read next.  She never shared with me her struggles and I never asked.  I didn't know to ask.

Now I know.  Now I know that what some people keep in their heart is sometimes so painful that they are simply unable or afraid to share.

If I had the chance again, I would make sure she knew how awesome she is.  How kind and gentle and sweet.  But most importantly, I would tell her that I believe in her. That she is stronger than she realizes, and she should never, ever doubt that. 

Friday, April 1, 2022

A Slow Return

Five weeks ago, I started a little not-really-necessary project in my studio. 

I like to sew, and because I am incapable of throwing anything away, I save the fabric scraps - usually cutting them into strips. I use the strips for a lot of different things: wrapping packets of cards and tying little bags of cookies when I give them away, braiding them into heavier strips, anchoring stray cords, securing plants in the house and yard, etc. I've been sewing for over 20 years, and I have a lot of fabric strips. Sometimes I need a long strip and sometimes I need a short strip, so I decided that I was going to make separate baskets for the strips. 

It was a totally mindless activity, but one which I still found greatly satisfying. I am both tactile and visual, so I really enjoy working with fabric. It was a pretty day in the studio, and I was getting caught up on some podcasts while I rediscovered fabric from years ago.

The next morning, February 22nd, I had a seizure after fainting and suffered three separate trauma-induced compression fractures of my vertebrae. I was in a tremendous amount of pain and spent much of the next few weeks medicated and in bed. Looking through the doorway and seeing my unfinished project was too much for me. was unable to see that returning to my studio was a "goal". In those early weeks, it felt too much like a taunt, so I closed the door to the studio. 

During a four-week period, I had met with an Orthopedic Neurosurgeon, three different spine specialists, Dr Spinks three times, and an internal medicine doctor. I had four different sets of x-rays, one MRI, and I was on six different medications. I am wearing a fitted corset back brace that weighs 8 pounds while my own weight is down 12 pounds. It had been a rough four weeks but early this week, I opened the studio door. 

I still don't feel quite strong enough to resume my project but this past Tuesday morning, I opened the studio door.  And right now, I'll take that. 


Tuesday, March 8, 2022

Not Broken

In the morning on Tuesday February 22nd, I fainted while getting blood work. I fainted and then had a seizure that lasted about 4 minutes. I started out seizing in the chair and then was helped to the floor by the phlebotomist. During those four minutes, either while I was in the chair, or on the floor, I fractured 3 vertebrae in my back - T7, T8 & T9. 

Before I fainted, I remember telling the young gal that it was starting to hurt (she was in a second attempt to draw blood) and I remember her telling me that I was getting pale. Then, I came to on the floor vomiting (thank goodness it was a fasting draw so I was retching nothing but water) with a room full of people. I heard bits of conversations; fainted, seizure, her husband.. And then I heard my Doctor's voice, as she bent down to me. 

I've been a patient of Dr Spinks for about 7 years. She is one of those Doctors that truly listen to you when you talk, who will take the time to answer all your questions thoroughly and will call you after hours with lab results. Good Doctors will do this. And I cried when I saw her. They got my phone and called Bill to tell him what happened and instructed him to go to the emergency room. I was taken from the lab via ambulance to the emergency room.  

What followed was a week of excruciating pain. I couldn't talk, sit or stand - I could do little more than lay in bed on heavy pain pills. Because of my sensitivity to medication, I could not tolerate a full-strength pain pill, so the pill was halved, and I took it every three hours - round the clock. During the night, Bill set his alarm and woke me up every three hours to give me my medication. I don't remember much of the first 6 days other than my heart was full of gratitude for this man I married. 

Bill created lists to keep track of my medications, kept my moist heat pad heated (it was one of the only things that helped the pain), helped me in and out of bed, made sure I ate and kept the house going. He took Missy for her walks and kept up on her quota of belly rubs and took her to the vet. He didn't leave the house but two times in 6 days - for food and my medication. I truly and sincerely do not where I would have been if I didn't have Bill. This doesn't surprise me, I've spent 25+ years with him, I know what kind of man he is. 

As I've shared, Missy is not a snuggly kind of dog. Without a doubt, Missy is a very loving and sweet dog, she does not snuggle but I know she loves me. Every time I woke up, Missy was laying in the bedroom at the foot of the bed, taking care of me in the best way that she knows how, by her presence. When I was able to move to the couch, she slept on the floor near the couch. If I stirred, she lifted her head to check on me and when I got up, she followed me. 

Ten days after my injury I was able to sit upright for 5 minutes at a time and that is how I worked on this blog, five minutes at a time. I wanted to get this done because there are so many people that I need to thank, so many people that I need to express my gratitude to. Family, friends and neighbors, so many people called, sent texts, cards, flowers and food. 

They came to my house to drop off flowers and food. They sent texts knowing that I was not strong enough to answer them and called knowing that I couldn't talk and yet they still reached out to me. To let me know that they were with me. That they are praying for me.  

When the pain has me crying for relief, when I am praying for the pain medication to kick in and for some rest, I find comfort, peace and safety in their words and actions like a quilt that I pull up around me.

I am two weeks out from my injury and two weeks from a scheduled surgery (kyphoslasty) to fix the fractures. There have been small victories to be celebrated and there have been setbacks which we don't dwell on. We move forward with grateful hearts.


Monday, January 31, 2022

My Cup


I was, I am, a "people pleaser".  The difference between the people pleasing Janet then, and the people pleasing Janet now, is that it no longer defines me. 

It took a lot of reflection, prayer and resolve for me to understand that my self-worth is not based on how my offering was received. I am no longer a "people pleaser", my intent now is to please people. The rearrangement of these two words made a big difference. 

I am, and always have been, a nurturer. I give and do things for others because it brings me tremendous joy and satisfaction to do so. Unfortunately, there were times that I allowed the acceptance, or appreciation, of my gestures and actions to dictate how I felt as a person. It was unfair and wrong of me to place this silent obligation on the receiver. A gift is a gift and not something that should ever have strings attached to it, seen or unseen.

For most of my early adult life, I held out my cup and asked others to fill my cup. I know now, what I wished I learned earlier, is that the cup is mine to fill. 



Wednesday, January 12, 2022

"Happy Photos"

How about some "Happy Photos"! I realized that my last few blog entries have been rather 'heavy' so I thought I would share with you some of the pictures that I keep on my "Happy Photos" thumb drive.  

All the photos have been taken by me, although not all of them have my name on them. I used to put my name on every single photo that I posted on Facebook (back when I was on FB) or on Instagram - I do it sometimes now, but not always. 

Some of the photos are 'staged' and some are random 'I was in the right place' shots, but they all make me happy.  

It is my hope that one or two will make you happy, or perhaps smile! 💓😊



































Friday, January 7, 2022

Passages

My neighbor across the street from us died recently.  He was only 45 years old. I wrote about him briefly in my blog (
Missy Makes Me Laugh: Outside my Window). Barrett purchased a home that was only about 3 years old and totally renovated it before he moved in.  

I watched the activity outside my studio window. I saw the workers there almost every single day. They worked all winter (mainly) in the garage - no matter how cold it was outside. A few times a week his mother, Diane, would come in to help with the renovation and the decorating. Seeing what was coming out, and what was going into the house, had me very curious. I couldn't wait to see the finished home.   

One day I got my chance and Barrett took me on a tour of his home. It was stunning. Every single detail was perfect. Most of his furnishings were high-end antiques and so carefully and thoughtfully selected. Barrett told me about the antique shopping trips he shared with his mother. They both enjoyed taking road trips and attending auctions and estate sales and did it as often as they could. 

After approximately six months of renovation, he moved into his home around the end of March this past year.  Barrett died less than a year from his move-in date. 

Recently I met a young man that owns an estate liquidation business and he needed help with a home. The home belonged to an elderly couple in their late 90's who were moving into an assisted living center. The family had been there previously and what remained were the items that they did not want. There was still so much left behind, a houseful really. As I was helping Tyler clean out drawers and closets, I uncovered boxes of pictures, albums of travel itineraries and stacks of cards and letters. All left behind. 

I am sentimental and I am a 'saver', two traits that have the potential to overwhelm me at times. I am overwhelmed not only with my own things, but with other peoples' things as well. As much as I knew that I needed to distance myself from this task, I was finding it difficult to do. 

As I was going through the things, I couldn't help but be saddened by the circumstances. How did it come to this? This couple spent more than 50 years living in this home, raising a family, traveling and creating memories only to have it sorted out by two complete strangers. 

I went directly from helping Tyler to the visitation for Barrett. Two different but similar circumstances which filled me with such sadness. Barrett spent months preparing a home that he would live in for less than a year, and a couple that had spent 50+ years living in a home that they left behind. I lay awake all night thinking about my day. 

I struggle with it. I struggle with the finality of it all. My beliefs reassure me that this all is just temporary. Our final home will be much grander than anything we can even imagine. But yet, I still struggle at times with it here now. 

We spend our lives creating a life and memories and all we can really hope for is that someone will recognize, remember and honor our existence after we are gone. 

Tuesday, December 28, 2021

Piper

For all the challenges that this past year brought, for the Alden family 2021 will always be remembered as "Our Year with Piper". Piper was our neighbor and friend Sheila's 13-year-old Bichon Frise and we loved her like family. 

On Monday the 20th, Sheila took Piper to the emergency vet where they discovered a large tumor on her spleen. Sheila had to make that awful decision that no pet owner ever wants to make. She was saying "good-bye" to Piper too soon. 

Because I found it so helpful to me, I recommend to my pet-loving friends that they write down the little things that their pets do that make them so special. I do this for Missy, but I started it with our previous dog Ginger. I kept a little notebook and in it I would include, not only the day-to-day things she did, but all the silly, funny and unique little traits that made her so loved. 

We lost our Ginger (after 10 years) to an aggressive cancer on March 12th, 2012.  Now, all these years later I read the entries and I am amazed at how many things I had forgotten; how many things still make me cry and how much I still miss her.  

From that very first day in May when Piper came into our house, she became a part of our family. She adapted and blended in with us so seamlessly. She really was a sweet little girl, and she has left us with so many memories. I'd like to share some of my Piper memories with you*

𑁦 In the morning when it was time to go pick up Piper, I would say "It's time to go get our little friend" and Missy would come racing out of her room and we headed next door to get "our little friend". 

𑁦 Once at Sheila's house, I'd hitch Missy to the post at the bottom of the porch and go inside to get Piper. Most mornings, she was waiting and would greet me at the back door with her tail wagging. I'd gather her and her things up and we'd go outside. Piper would race out of the door and was always excited to see Missy, but Missy, Missy was all like "Meh". I know that she loved Piper, she just bolted out of the house to get here after all, but Missy always plays it cool with everything and was "Yea. Hello. Whatever. Big deal. I saw you yesterday. Can we just go for our walk please."

𑁦 With both Missy and Piper, aka "The Girls", in tow, I'd head out for a walk around the neighborhood. Piper always had to be up front, and once Piper started walking, she took her job very seriously. I take Missy out for a lot of walks alone because she can be quite difficult - Missy likes to meander and smell everything so I end up having to apologize to our walking buddies that we have to slow down, yet again, to wait for Missy. But Piper, she was all business!  When she was out in front leading us, she did it with such determination and focus and we had to keep moving just to keep up. Piper had the sweetest little ears and I loved to watch them bop bopping as she pranced along. Made me laugh every single time!

Sheila said that every time I walked by the house with Missy, Piper would jump up from wherever she was and go to the door and bark because she wanted to join us. I guess she didn't mind Missy's meandering! 

𑁦 Once we came to our house, Piper would lead us to the garage side door. But once she got there, she waited. Piper was very polite and cognizant of respecting Missy and her house. She only had to get mowed over by Missy once or twice to learn that, even if she got there before Missy, Missy always had to go in first. And Missy's rule applied to the door from the garage to the house too. "Different door, same rule Piper. I go in first". So, Piper patiently waited for Missy to go in first, then she came in. But she didn't just "come in" with a step. Nope, Piper bounced in. Every single time she entered our house, sweet girl bounced in.  Adorbs!  

𑁦 Once Piper was in our house, the first thing she did was go right to the water bowl and take a big drink. We have the same water supply as Sheila, but for some reason, she liked the "Alden" water. Both Missy and Piper got a little treat when we came back from our morning walk, but Missy knew she had to wait until after Piper had her drink, and joined us, before treats were dispensed. Missy is not a very patient dog, but she knew she had to wait for Piper, so she did. 

𑁦 Piper had a few favorite spots in our house. When I was in the kitchen or living room, she would lay on the floor by the plants - from there she could keep an eye on me. She also had a dog bed under the sideboard in the kitchen and if she wasn't by the plants she was under the sideboard. Sometimes, she lay on the floor, right next to the dog bed, although honestly, I couldn't figure that one out!

Piper's other bed was in my studio. On the days that I spent in the studio; Piper was in the dog bed near my feet. As long as she knew that she wasn't alone, she would soon fall into a deep sleep and snore. And snore she did! Bless her little heart, girlfriend could snore! 

𑁦 After a few weeks, Missy got over her obsession with needing to know where Piper was at all times, and we got ourselves settled into a nice routine - Missy would be in 'her' room and Piper was wherever I was. Sometimes, many hours would go by without any activity at all from either dog. When the weather was nice, we'd go out for another walk or go sit outside in the back. It wasn't long before we fell into a nice, easy and comfortable rhythm and our days passed by nicely.

𑁦 Sometimes there would be a little activity in the front of the house that would get Missy's attention. Missy would start barking and that would get Piper up, so off she went into the other room to check it out. Missy would look back over at Piper and relayed some signal that meant her bark was required as well. Piper could not see out of the window, but if Missy 'told' her to bark, she barked. 

𑁦 When the "Turfmaster" man came to the house, I would have to open the front door to let the girls out because they carried on so. He had dogs and he always gave Missy and Piper lots of loving. Once they learned who he was, they were not about to let him go without getting their ears scratched or their belly rubbed.  After that was done, the girls would come back into the house content, and he was able to do his job. 

𑁦 I can't share memories about Piper without talking about her farts! Look at this face! How is it possible that this sweet little girl would be able to produce room-clearing farts?!  And what made it so adorable was that she did it without waking up or even being aware that she was doing it! I was a little apprehensive about bringing up Piper's 'situation' with Sheila, but once I did, oh! how we laughed! She had quite a few stories to share too! 

𑁦 Piper LOVED Bill. When she came into the house and saw Bill, she would immediately go up to him to get her ears scratched. Most days she would not let me leave her sight, but if Bill was home, she would sit on the back porch with him for hours. She adored him. If she was at our house later, she would go into the bathroom with him and lay there as he shaved. She'd lay outside the shower and when he exited, he had to be careful as to not step on her. She only came out when he was done. Bless her heart, sweet Piper had a little crush on my husband.❤️

𑁦 Dinner times with the girls were always an adventure! The first time I attempted to feed Piper at our house, Missy tried to eat her food first. Missy has spent her whole life acting like she is starving to death. She is not possessive of her food, but she is absolutely and definitely food focused. There was no way that Piper would be able to get to her food dish and eat it before Missy approached and overtook her. Then, we tried to feed Missy first, but that didn't work out either because Missy would eat her food super-fast because, apparently she thought that if she finished all of her food, then she would get Piper's food too. We needed a new plan.

So, after much trial and error, we figured out how to feed the girls. We would prepare both bowls of food at the same time and then I would say "Let's go eat" and we would go outside. I would pick up Piper and put her in my lap and then, only then, could I put Missy's bowl down. With Piper on my lap, I would literally hand feed Piper her dinner. I know for a fact that Sheila did not hand-feed Piper her meals, because honestly, why should she? Sheila didn't have a "starving" Missy to contend with. But Piper, from the first day I put her on my lap, this little gal acted like she had been hand fed her entire life. Once Piper was done eating, I put the bowl down for Missy to lick clean. That was her reward for letting Piper eat her food in peace. It took a while, but just as with everything else, we figured it out and got into a nice routine and flow.

One of the best things about being pet a owner is that they provide us with so much love and happiness. And it is exactly that reason why the good-byes are always heartbreaking and always seem to come too soon. Sheila, her family and friends, all adored Piper and I know how much she is missed. 

Piper was a very sweet, charming and gentle dog and we loved sharing our home with her. 

Thank you, Sheila, for sharing your Piper with us, we will always have a spot in our heart for your sweet girl. 

* In July I wrote a blog about Missy and Piper and their friendship if you would like to read it: (Missy Makes Me Laugh: Missy and Piper





Wednesday, December 1, 2021

Compassion, Love and Senior Dogs

I was at Inman Animal Hospital yesterday morning with Missy.  As often the case early in the morning, their parking lot was full and they were very busy.  

When I went to check in, there was a young gal at the front entrance with a small dog on a leash. The dog was pacing and sniffing but didn't look threatening so I stopped and asked her if I could pet her dog.  She said 'yes'. I asked what her name was and she said "I don't know. My mom and I found her last night. She's blind". Tears filled my eyes. This poor dog, lost and blind, bless her heart. And God bless this mother and daughter for taking her in.  

As I was checking in Missy, one of the office girls said to the Tech, "We are ready for the Euthanasia now. My heart sank. As I walked out, I saw an older gentleman carrying a hound wrapped in a blanket. The dog was on his back and this big man just cradled him in his arms. I looked at the man's face and he was crying, his face full of sorrow and pain. This was their next patient.  

I got to my car and I cried. I cried deep and I prayed hard. I cried because my heart was just so heavy with what I witnessed. And I prayed because we serve a good Lord and He hears our prayers. I prayed for strength for both of these families, comfort for both of these dogs, and wisdom and guidance for all the workers inside that building. 

I've recently started reading books about the care of Senior Dogs (our Missy turned 10 this year) and started following some groups on Instagram (#seniordogsofinstagram, #seniordogsrule, #seniordogs). I find myself being drawn to the sweet 'frosty faces' and 'grey muzzle' of older dogs and I enjoy seeing their pictures in my feed.  

Unfortunately, along with the pictures sometimes there are some heartbreaking stories as well. After one particularly hard day of sadness, I thought, I cannot do this. I am simply not strong enough to endure this emotional pain and I was going to 'unfollow' these groups. My heart breaks with every story about an abandoned senior pet, or a senior pet that has crossed over the rainbow bridge. So many stories and pictures that are just so incredibly sad and touching, and I think that I just can't bear this much pain. 

And then I read about the people who adopt these senior dogs. I've learned about people and organizations who take in senior dogs and allow them to live their last few years surrounded by love. I read about people who refuse to give up on a dog simply because he is old. And I witness firsthand the family that finds a lost blind dog and take her to the vet to get help. I see a man who provides the final act of love and compassion to his treasured family member. And this is what I choose to focus on. 

I know that I will continue to cry and have my heart broken by stories of suffering and loss. But I will continue to focus on the stories of hope and new starts. I will choose to be uplifted and reassured that there are good and kind people in this world. And I will continue to look for and focus on finding them. 

I truly believe, and I know in my heart, that there are more people who are filled with compassion and love and goodness than there are people who are cruel and unkind.  And goodness and love will always win.  


Monday, November 22, 2021

"Wait for it"


This sweet pup was in a truck as I pulled into the Post Office parking lot. Look at this face! ❤️ 

I am a dog lover and one of my very favorite things to do - in the whole world - is to watch dogs in cars waiting for their owners to return. I love being able to witness that happy moment in their life. To be there and see them when their owner has come into their sight - it is something I will never get tired of seeing. You see it first in their eyes, then the rest of the body gets into the action! To me there are few things sweeter, or so full of pure admiration and goodness, than this.

So, I sat in my car watching the dog and also waiting for his owner to return. Every so often he would move his eyes slightly towards the entrance but he never moved his head. I think it had to do with the perfect sun placement.

And there it was! That look!  I saw it in his eyes - a spark of happiness!  And then I heard his tail thumping on the seat! He didn't move much, but his eyes, and tail, said it all - his owner had returned. He was rewarded and so was I. 

I learned from talking with the owner, Pete, that this sweet boy's name is "Taz" and he is 13 years old. Taz has been taking rides with him his whole life and it is still one of his favorite things to do. He said that it is a bit harder for Taz to get in and out of the truck so now he carries a ramp in the back for him. Pete said that Taz is always ready and eager to go for his ride each morning, so they go for a ride. Bless. 

I stayed and talked with the owner for a bit longer, all the time scratching Taz on his head and ears. This dog was just so gentle and sweet. I left the Post Office that morning so grateful for the opportunity to witness, again, the love between a dog and his owner. The devotion and commitment and dedication of both Taz and his owner to each other, it was pure and it was deep. 

I am once again reminded that there is love and joy everywhere, if you look for it.  Even in the Post Office parking lot on a Tuesday morning. ❤️🙏




Monday, November 8, 2021

Nesting

We turned the clocks back an hour this past Sunday. The gain and loss of the hour means little to me - what I am most excited about is the change in season! 
 I am a cold-weather gal through and through. I love the crisp air and I love being in the house all warm and cozy in my layers with at least 14 candles burning at once1

Turning the clock means that it's going to get dark earlier and I LOVE that too! I have a strong nesting instinct and the colder, darker weather draws me in tight and cozy. I do believe, if it were feasibly possible, I would be content to never leave my house again2.


Just inside my front door I have a wire basket filled with vintage wind-up clocks. I love their simplistic design and function.  Nothing fancy about them, just the basics to do the job. 

In addition to their visual appeal, I am comforted by the memories they provide me.  I am also soothed by the repetitive sound they make. When we were younger, we often slept over at our Vo-Vo and Feety's house3. They had a wind-up clock on the mantel and the sound of a vintage clock always takes me back to that time of being taken care of.

I am out with Missy around 5am every morning. I love that first hit of cold air this time of year. The first thing I do when I step outside, no matter the season, is look up. I look up at all the stars and think about the vastness of the sky. As I look up, I also take in the beauty and the glory of it all. I feel renewed and deeply blessed to be able to be here now as a new day begins. 

I know that they say that you only live once, but my thoughts are that you only die once - you live every day. And I never want to lose the grateful heart for as long as I have a new day. 

1. As opposed to 9 candles burning all the other times
2. At least from November through February
3. It's what we called my mom's parents







Wednesday, October 20, 2021

Gifts of Love: Sally and Molly

This is Sally.  She is a mix of Poodle and Shih-tzu and she is 3 years old. Every single day, sometimes twice a day, I see either Glenn or Rita driving very slow through the neighborhood with Sally in the front seat. I have been admiring this sweet gal for a while and I set out to meet her.     
 
Glenn* told me that the first time he took Sally out for a ride around the neighborhood he was thinking that if she ever got loose, she would know where she was, and perhaps, remember how to get back home. One time was all Sally needed. The next day she was following Glenn around the house wanting to go for another ride.  Now, every day - and sometimes twice a day if she can convince them - they go for a ride! 😊

Sally does not like busy roads or oncoming traffic, so they learned to stay within our neighborhood and go really slow. Most times, Sally sits in the front passenger's seat with her front paws on the middle console and her rear paws on the seat while looking straight ahead through the windshield. Oh, how it just tickles me so to see them pass by my house every day! 

Sally started out the first 8 weeks of her life in a home with 3 children. They adored her and Sally clearly has fond memories of them. To this day, she keeps an eye out for the children in our neighborhood, and when she sees them, she gets really excited and cries.  

Glenn told me that Miss Sally loves to dress up and insists on sleeping each night in her "nightshirt".  And boy is Sally smart!  As Glenn said "Like a parent that thinks their child is the smartest kid in the world. Every dog that's been a part of our family had its own personality and won a special place in our hearts. Sally is the most intelligent dog we've ever had. No one-word dog commands for her; she understands complete sentences. Many times, she has surprised us by reacting to our family conversations."  

It only took one delivery from "Barkbox" for Sally to need to investigate each and every box that comes into their house. She thoroughly sniffs each box and if she smells a treat, she knows that it's for her and she "dances around like a circus dog". But apparently, it's not the treats that she is after, that's just the way she knows that the box is for her. It's the toy that accompanies the treats that she is interested in. When Sally is not riding in the car, she loves to play!  

For a long time, I have watched Sally passing through my neighborhood and each and every time it brings me joy. I love that this simple act, riding in the car, makes her so happy. And, I love that Glenn and Rita want to make Sally happy by taking her for a ride! 

Originally, my blog was going to be all about Sally and what we do out of love for our pets. We have a hundred things we do for Missy, and I know from talking with my pet-owner friends that they do too. But Tuesday I witnessed the ultimate gift of love. 
 

This is Molly. She was 14.5 years old, and like Sally, she was a mix of Shih-tzu and Poodle. 

Tuesday morning I was at the vet's office picking up medicine for Missy. Pat, my neighbor and friend, came in extremely distraught. Molly had been sick and they had a very rough night with her. Through her tears Pat told Megan that she thought that it was time. I asked Pat if she would like me to stay.  She said yes and I stayed. 

Molly came to Pat and Joe when she was 8 weeks old. She lived a good life eating cookies (Milk Bones) watching TV with Joe during the day and watching game shows with Pat in the bedroom at night. Molly laid on the foot of the bed directly in front of the TV, like she was actually watching it, while Pat worked the puzzles. When it was time for bed, Molly joined them. She was a big fan of snuggling and would nuzzle right up to Joe every night. Her snoring never bothered them much, it just meant that she was sleeping well.  

Molly didn't like thunder or lightening but if she did have to go outside in the rain, she would sit down and look directly up with the rain coming down on her face.  She seemed to really like this experience and it made Joe and Pat laugh every time! 

Molly went on every trip with them and had been to Connecticut and Florida many, many times.  Her most recent trip was this past summer when Joe and Pat visited friends in Florida. She liked to ride in the car and Molly's comfort was a big factor in their choice of which vehicle to buy. They repeatedly bought the Honda CRV because the seats didn't slope down. Because the seats went straight across, Molly could lay comfortably for longer periods of time. 

Molly wasn't crazy about getting baths, but she loved Amanda, her groomer.  Another thing she wasn't crazy about were flies. Any time that Molly saw a fly in the house, she could not rest until Joe got out the swatter and took care of it. And just the opposite of Sally, Molly wasn't big on toys, but she loved treats!  She wasn't fed people food except for on Thanksgiving. Molly got turkey on Thanksgiving. What a treat!  

Tuesday afternoon, Pat and I went to the Spartanburg Humane Society to donate Molly's dog food and treats. Pat wanted these dogs to have the things that Molly loved. There are going to be some happy and well-fed pups, I know that for sure. 

Giving 873 belly rubs a day (I'm looking at you Missy) taking them for a ride in the car, buying them the treats and toys they like, these are just some of the ways we show our dogs how much we love them. But these are the easy ones. They are not all easy. 

Having to make that painful decision, knowing that it is time to say goodbye to your dog, this is heartbreaking and never easy. But as I witnessed Tuesday with Pat and Molly, it was a gift, it was a final gift. It was Molly being held and comforted and loved and thanked. This was Pat and Joe's final gift to Molly; being strong enough and loving her enough to know that it was time to say good-bye.  The final gift of love.

Thank you Glenn, Rita, Pat and Joe for letting me share Sally and Molly. 💓


* Please check out Glenn's website and sign up for his newsletter!  He is fabulously  entertaining!  www.glennstrange.com  



Wednesday, October 6, 2021

25 Years with Bill 💗

I married Bill 25 years ago today.  Twenty five years, or 9,129 days, ago on a Sunday1 afternoon in Meriden, CT we said "I do" in front of 75 family members and friends.  The Macarena was #12 on the music charts and Bill Clinton was three years into his first term as President. Lois and Clark also got married on this date, as did Faith Hill and Tim McGraw.  

Twenty-five years ago I was 34 years old and recently purchased my own condominium.  I was a sergeant in the Army National Guard and had already been working and supporting myself for more than 10 years. I had spent a long time relying on myself and I didn't think that it was possible for someone to love me without trying to change me or my life. 

Since that day, 300 months or 219,103 hours ago, Bill has been my solid and safe foundation. Not once have I looked and not found him. He has always been, and always will be, right beside me with his hand on my shoulder.  

Sometimes his touch is gentle and I barely notice it - those are the times when he knows I'm doing just fine. Sometimes the touch is a little firmer, for when I need a bit of guidance.  And sometimes, sometimes the grip is tight as those are the times when he is holding me up. There has never been a time, not once in more than 25 years, when I doubted him or his love for me. I have never not felt his hand on my shoulder.   

I know of no other person who is as consistent or as fair as this man. He never waivers in his loyalty, his wisdom or his love. He loves to listen to Willie Nelson, Kris Kristofferson, Frank Sinatra and Bob Dylan. He researches each and every single purchase before he buys anything. Anything. Frustrating sometimes, but he is seldom disappointed and he seldom makes a mistake by overpaying.  

He loves Seinfeld, Michael Scott, slapstick comedy, British humor, Ron Swanson, people falling down and dogs doing silly things. And fart jokes!  I mean who doesn't love fart jokes, fart noises and simply hearing the word 'fart'?!  It's a trait he shares with Jeffrey and Christine - two of his children.  Oh my, how they will laugh themselves silly talking about farts! 

He is incredibly patient and always fair. He helps me keep the house clean, keeps our cars and garage spotless and has never once told me my studio was a mess or has he made me feel guilty for having the whole room to myself. 

He goes with me to the vet with Missy and buys me blueberries because he knows that I like them when they are especially fat and plump. He takes me to Key West, even though we have literally been there 7 times already. And, while we are in Key West, he doesn't complain when I want to spend a lot of time at The Butterfly Conservatory3

He is an excellent and careful driver and does not speed or drive like a jerk. He whistles like someone who doesn't know he is whistling and he is always looking for ways to make our lives better. He has tremendous patience with people and situations and never makes a promise he can't honor.  And, he is never, ever, ever late for anything. Ever.

He does not complain when I burn candles, no matter how many I burn at once, and he always has my back and gently corrects me when I need it.  He does not spit or swear, he always opens the car door for me and he will wrap the presents because he knows it's not my favorite thing to do. 

He eats a hard boiled egg every day and can drink coffee right up until he goes to bed at night. He likes the hard peppermint candies that restaurants put out and has tremendous willpower when it comes to eating chocolate. A trait I particularly admire.

He never rolls his eyes when I tell the waitress exactly how I want my meal prepared and he holds the hot Baked Ravioli dish so I can spoon it onto my plate. He lets me go in front of him in the salad bar line and doesn't seem to mind when I take the good lettuce. He is extremely gentle with Missy and takes great care when he has to wipe the gunk from her eyes. He has never once told me I can't do something, and he always supports and encourages me in every single thing I do or try. 

No matter what we are doing on Sunday night, he makes sure that I never miss 'The Dog Park' at 7:05 on AFV.  He goes to the library for me and makes sure my tires are properly inflated and never become worn.  He is never mean, and he understands and respects when something is done or said in confidence, and, he is an excellent judge of character - something I seem to have to always learn the hard way. 

He takes great pride in maintaining our yard and he has planted (and sometimes replanted) every single shrub, plant and flower in our yard.  This includes the 48 trees that are in razor-sharp straight rows, and exactly 4 feet apart, that line the inside of fence in our back yard. He shares his pretzels or ice cream with Missy, and he always lets me try whatever it is that he is having. He slept by his mother's bedside when she was dying and he goes with me when I have to get my blood work done.

He always takes good care with how he looks when he leaves the house and he looks great in baseball caps. I know that he has made sacrifices for me but he has never made me feel guilty, not once, about any of them. He has very good manners, is always on my side and can fall asleep, literally, anywhere4

He served our country and will always be a proud and loyal American. He always kisses me hello and goodbye - even when he just goes to the grocery store.  He wakes up happy and always calls me sweetie, even in front of other people. He does not have one single bad habit, never complains and will put away my book and turn off the bedside light when I fall asleep while reading. 

He was with me when we put Ginger down and found us Missy when I couldn't bear the thought of looking at another dog in a shelter.  He does a really bad Elvis impression but a really good Bob from Schitt's Creek5.  He does not lie, does not compromise his integrity and will tell the truth gently if it is not good. 

He has never been lazy, is painstakingly precise in every single thing he does and always works hard without complaining.  He makes my heart smile and feel grateful each and every day of my life. I know what love is because this man has shown me. 

I have been blessed beyond measure by having Bill in my life and I wanted to share just a little bit of what makes him so great. We stopped buying each other birthday and anniversary cards and gifts a long time ago, but I couldn't let this day pass without giving him this special gift.

Sweetie, I love you very much and you are always, always, always at the top of my list of things for which I am grateful for.  I would not be who I am today if I didn't have you in my life.  Happy 25th Anniversary! 


1. Neither Bill or I have any clear recollection of why we got married on a Sunday but it probably had to do with the availability of the venue. 😕 

2. ....and I'm pretty sure we played that at our wedding

3. My very favorite place in the whole world!  Home | thekeywestbutterfly

4. It's true! I have a picture of him in the stands at a NASCAR race....asleep!

5. Bob Jog. All of Bob’s entrances on Schitts Creek. CBC Netflix. - Bing video