I've been spending the week cleaning out my studio. Normally when I clean out my studio, I am cleaning out my crafting supplies. However, this time, I am cleaning out my stuff. I have lots of stuff.
In earlier blog posts, I've shared that I have many sketchbooks filled with cards. articles and pictures that I want to keep. In my studio closet I have a tub where I put the things that will eventually go into my sketchbooks. I've been adding items to the tub for the past five or six years - since we moved here - and it was finally time to tackle the tub. I used to do a better job of staying on top of this task, but now, it all just seems to get away from me and it doesn't get done.
In my closet I also have two boxes of cards. If you have sent me a card or note in the past 25 plus years, chances are it's in one of these two boxes. I also used to do a better job of putting cards into my sketchbooks, but, well, that's slipped as well.
First up - the tub. I've been going through and reading each item to see if it is really something I want to keep. Sometimes the articles and pictures I saved were relevant for that period of time but not something that is relevant now. Those situations are easy, I don't need to save it, so I throw it away. It's the boxes of cards that I am having a hard time with. Personal things are very, very difficult for me to part with. I want to keep them all.
As I've gotten older, I find myself thinking about my stuff and what will become of it all after I have gone. I have no children and chances are pretty slim that anyone in my family will want any of this. And really, why should they? They have their own memories and 'stuff' and I certainly don't expect them to take on mine.
There were several times during this past week when I felt overwhelmed with the volume, and I thought "Why bother?" When the day comes and someone is going through my things, in all likelihood, it will all get thrown away anyway. It made me question and rethink what I was doing. It made me wonder whether this project was worth my time and my energy. And then I realized that it was worth it. And it was worth it because of the joy it brought me. Deep down I realized that I was feeling joy.
As I went through and read each card and note, I was able to recall the love I felt when I initially received the card all those years ago. I was able to reconnect and remember people that have passed away, that I not longer work with or live near, and in some cases, people that I had somehow completely forgotten about as well. To be able to again feel this love and joy was very rewarding for me.
Yesterday, I finished going through the tub and boxes of cards and began the next phase of putting the items into the sketchbooks. When I'm done, I'll put them away upstairs - with the others. Will these things mean anything to anyone else? Most likely not, but they are one of my greatest treasures and I think they are definitely worth it.
