Dinner with the Fox's

We had dinner last night with our good friends, Pam and Tom Fox.  Tom works with Bill at Enterprise.  Although Bill sees Tom almost every week, it's rare that the four of us get together.  

Tom and Pam have a new home on 7 acres of land.  The last time we were there, the home was still in the process of being built.  It was almost done, but it would be another week or two before they moved in.  

Last night we saw the home finished and decorated, and it's beautiful.  We sat in the great room, drank wine and got caught up.  At one point I looked over at Bill and Tom talking.  Tom said something and Bill gave a big laugh. A big, throw-his-head-back-laugh and I thought how much I love this man!  And how happy I am that he has found such a good friend like Tom.  

It's always been easier for me to make friends and I worried that when we moved to South Carolina, it would be difficult for Bill.  Apparently, I didn't need to worry!  Bill is retired and works part-time at Enterprise.  This allows him to work a few days a week and hang out with guys who are just like him, and he gets to drive.  He literally gets to drive for work.  And this is a man who LOVES to drive.  

On work days, he lets me know where they are off to for the day; sometimes they go to Charleston, sometimes Atlanta and sometimes it's Savannah. He really likes when he gets the long trips. When I ask him who he's with that day and he tells me "Tom", I know it's going to be a good day for him.  For them both.  Those two knuckleheads will talk, laugh and play pranks on each other all day.  I imagine that there will be a lot of 'throw-his-head-back' laughs that day!

Tom prepared a fabulous dinner, especially for me I'm told, and it was heavenly.  Pam told me that he spent the whole day chopping, cutting and preparing all the ingredients for the Shrimp Spaghetti dinner, Roma bread and Ratatouille. Pam set the table and paid attention to the smallest little detail.  It was an tremendous amount of work and time extended into making us feel welcome.  

As we sat around the table afterwards drinking coffee, eating cookies and cake, I realized how comfortable and awesome our life had become.  How extremely blessed we are to have friends like Pam and Tom in our lives.  Moving more than 800 miles away from family and friends has not always been easy, but we have created a good and happy life here.  

As we got ready to leave, Pam and Tom walking us out to our car, the moon was almost full, the evening air was a bit cooler and the sky was full of stars.  We said "good-bye" and "thank you" and got in our car.  I got into the passenger seat; my belly full of good food, my heart full of grateful love and I slipped into a peaceful and content sleep.  

Michele Cushatt - Strength

I’d like to blame it on my radio business exposure, 11 years as the Office Coordinator at ESPN Radio, but I know that would be a lie. The fact and the truth is that I was quick to judge.  I was quick to judge someone based solely on hearing her speak.

About two weeks ago, I got into my car and heard the end of a radio interview.  The woman speaking did not have a “radio voice” - it was full of wisps and slurred words.  I was interested in the topic, fostering three children with special needs, but I had to admit, I had a hard time getting past her speaking flaws.  After all my time at ESPN, I had grown accustomed to voices like the smooth baritone of Dan “The Duke” Davis and the lilted and easy cadence of Mike (Greenberg) and Mike (Golic).  When the interview ended and her name was given, I wrote it down - Michele Cushatt.

Michele Cushatt, as I came to discover, is a three-time head and neck cancer survivor.  At the age of 39 she had her tongue removed and reconstructed with muscle and skin from her left arm. She then had muscle and skin from her left leg removed to reconstruct her left arm.

As I read her amazing biography, I felt deeply ashamed.  Ashamed that I was so quick to judge without knowing all the facts.  This woman had a thriving career as a speaker, author and frequent guest on "Focus on the Family" (where I heard her speak) both before and after her cancer.

Why was I so quick to judge her without knowing a thing about her?  I’m better than that. Aren’t I?  I thought so, I certainly hope so. But I wasn’t.  Not this time, and if I am honest, truly honest, not in the many other times in my past. How many times was I quick to judge people because they weren’t like the others?

But as so often the case, by the grace of God, this was a teachable moment.  I read more about her struggle and I learned of her amazing strength, courage and determination.  I thought my lesson was not to judge so quickly.  Got it, lesson learned.  

Wait a minute, not so fast.  As so often the case, I had more to learn from a gentle God who always, always, always knows what I need and when I need it.

As I listened to two of her books on audio in my studio,  “Undone: A Story of Making Peace with an Unexpected Life, and “Relentless: The Unshakeable Presence of a God Who Never Leaves” I found my real lesson.  I found the real reason why I heard the interview in my car that day. 

Michele Cushatt is not a quitter.  She never ever gave up. Oh, no doubt, she felt like giving up a hundred thousand times.  She cried and doubted and questioned, but she stayed the course. She kept her eye on the final prize and carried on.  Carried on through surgery after surgery, challenges with three foster children, and the diagnosis and death of her father during her recovery.  Her strength amazed me.  And her strength strengthened me.  

This was the lesson.  This is what I needed to hear.  As I was going through my own rough time, I needed to learn about strength.  I needed to learn about determination and patience. I needed to learn about staying the course and doing the right thing, even when it was so very hard.

 Her words gave me strength.  I hope, if you are in need, they give you strength too.

 “Where is my faith? In myself, more often than not. Which is why an unexpected squall — every last one of them over the span of two years — unraveled me. A boat anchored to itself is not anchored at all.”

“There is strength in empty. Not the kind of strength we wish for. We want polished strength, the kind that wears a cape and leaps tall buildings with a single bound. I couldn’t leap or fly or save anyone from catastrophe. In fact, I could barely show up. But I did. Show up. And that ended up being a strength all of its own.”

― Michele Cushatt, Undone: A Story of Making Peace With an Unexpected Life

https://michelecushatt.com/

Encounter on a Monday

On Monday afternoons, the library I go to brings in adults from a group home nearby.  Today on my way out, I stopped in the ladies room. At the sink there was a woman who was standing and staring at herself in the mirror. I think that she was in her early 70's, and her disability was not one that was visible to me. 

She didn't move or stop when I came in, but our eyes met in the mirror. I told her she looked lovely, and she did, she was very pretty in purple. She didn't say a word and her eyes never left mine in the mirror, but she smiled one of the the biggest smiles that I have ever seen.

I've found myself thinking about her all day. I wonder what she was thinking as she looked at herself in the mirror. It wasn't sadness that I read in her eyes, but when I think of her now, I feel a sadness for her and it makes my heart ache. I do know that I'm going to look for her next week and see if I can make her smile again.

Emil, Missy and "Will-Power"

After teaching Missy how to give her two front paws, my friend Emil thought that he would teach Missy some "will power". 

In the beginning of August we went down to visit with Emil in the afternoon and Missy got her first lesson. Um, so Missy is not really a "will-power" kind of dog. She tried really hard to stay when Emil put the treat on the ground, but she couldn't stand it. We agreed that this may take some work and we both laughed. 

Two days later, Emil was in ICU and 17 days later he finally came home.

I brought a picture of Missy for Emil to keep in his room, and I gave him daily updates on her. He wanted to make sure that she wasn't forgetting her training. I told him that she remembers her paws, but the will-power....well, he's got work to do there when he gets home.

I always updated Emil on Missy, and shared pictures of her; Missy getting a bath, Missy smiling with her bow-tie on, Missy with her pile of toys. All the nurses and staff who came into the room, knew about Missy. They knew that Emil was training my 7 year old dog some tricks and they were all very impressed. Emil smiled, very pleased and deservedly very proud with himself.

One day Emil said that he talked to one of the nurses about Missy.  He told me that if we claimed that Missy was a Therapy Dog, then I could bring her to visit him. It would have been awesome for Emil to see Missy.  I know how much he is missing Missy, but I thought that given the fact that Missy gets a bit 'over-stimulated', maybe bringing her into the hospital wasn't a good idea. Honestly, we wouldn't even get past the lobby, Missy would be wanting belly rubs from every single person she saw. It would have to wait.

Emil came home from the hospital yesterday, Tuesday, afternoon. Richard told me that he was sleeping, but glad to be home. Without talking to Emil, somehow I just knew that he would be outside waiting for us this morning. And he was. As weak as Emil was, he set his alarm for 5:30, got fully dressed, got Missy's treats and sat outside waiting for us.

At 6am, our usual time, I started walking Missy.  As soon as we got down to his street, I couldn't contain her. Missy started pulling me and squealing. I had to let her go, I do believe she would have pulled me right across the lawn if I didn't.  She saw Emil and ran right up to him sitting on the porch. Seeing the two of them together after almost three weeks was truly one of the best things I've ever seen in a long time.

It was just one of those moments. One of those moments when you sit back, observing how good our God is and how truly blessed you are to be right where you are here and now.

After catching up with Emil, we agreed that Missy can start her will-power training... tomorrow.

    

                                                                                       Originally posted to Facebook August 2019

Choices

I went into a QT yesterday to get gas and coffee. There was a young father with two children; a boy, around nine, and a girl, about five. They were standing in front of the glass case that holds pastries. I gathered that their father told them they could each have one.

The little girl made her decision quickly. She chose the donut with the pink frosting and white sprinkles. But the little boy...ahhh the little boy was having more difficulties. He had narrowed it down to the Bear Claw shelf, but there was a problem. This bear claw appeared to be a little bit bigger than the others. But this one had more nuts. And this one had the most glaze. He was debating the merits of each and didn't seem to be anywhere near making his decision when I was done making my coffee. I lingered to see how this was going to end.

The little girl was anxious to get going, having made her decision quickly. She was trying to get her brother to hurry up, but he was not moving. This apparently was not a situation that presented itself often and the young lad was not going to waste his pick on a Bear Claw that was not "The Best".

I caught the young father's eye and we smiled. In that instant I knew that this was a kind father. This was a father who appreciated children being children. This was a big decision for his son, and he was going to allow him to make it.

Moments like this are my life's treasures. Simple and sweet treasures that make up a good and happy life.

Originally posted to Facebook in 2017