Emil Harenberg

My friend Emil passed away Sunday morning.  He had been at the Veteran's home since September 15th and his health had been failing. It was expected, but it still breaks my heart. He was a good man.  And he was a dear friend. 

There were so many ways and so many things that he did that made him such a special friend.  I've shared Emil here in the past, but I would like to share more with you and I appreciate you reading my treasured stories and memories of my friend. 

Emil and his wife Ann moved into Bushfork in December of 2018. They were here only a week or so when Ann died unexpectedly.  I had met them both at an Open House Holiday party and it was such a tragedy that she passed so soon and so suddenly after moving up here from Florida. 

It was shortly after that when I started bringing Emil's newspaper to his front door. I was out early every morning, it was December and I wanted to save him the trip to the street to get his paper.  This went on for about 3 months or so, I never saw him, but I continued to bring his paper to his front door.  

One day I was out with Missy and I saw Emil coming out to his mailbox.  I introduced myself and after talking with him a bit, I told him that I was the one that has been bringing his newspaper up to his door. He was quite surprised that it was me because he thought it was the paper carrier doing that. He told me he was giving the carrier extra tips for this "service".  We both got a laugh out of that!  I told him that Missy and I are out often, and if he ever needed anything, to please let us know.  He very kindly told me that he keeps to himself, and thank you, but he didn't anticipate needing anything. I said okay and said good-bye. 

The next day I left some homemade cookies at his front door with his newspaper.  I also left my phone number with him.  I can be stubborn like that sometimes.

The next time I saw him, he thanked me for the cookies and said that they were good but he preferred chocolate chips cookies without nuts.  And, so our friendship was born, born from newspapers and chocolate chip cookies.  

Over the next two years, Missy and I spent a lot of time with Emil. Most of which was spent sitting on his front porch. We would get up early, before it got too hot, and wave to the neighbors as they drove by to go to work. He loved that. He loved that everyone was so friendly and waved back to us.  

Sometimes his son Richard would join us on the porch. One morning, in early spring, we were watching one of the small trees in his front yard.  Birds had built a nest in it and we could hear the babies peeping.  We spent a lot of time watching the activity of the birds flying into the tree with food to the baby birds.  One morning, we saw a baby bird take their first flight.  We all just looked at each other in amazement!  While we were still watching, a second bird emerged from the nest.  This little one didn't fare so well. He flew out of the nest and 'smack' flew right into the front of Richard's car. We all gasped, but this little bird got up and flew away.  We talked about this miracle of nature all summer. And about that tough little bird!  I have the little nest in my house now. 

Emil had bird feeders in the backyard and we both enjoyed watching the hummingbirds' feed.  One day he called me and told me that he had some pictures that he wanted to show me.  With his film camera, he took pictures of the hummingbirds and went to Walgreens and had them developed. I know how hard it can be to capture hummingbirds, and I also know how hard it was for Emil to move, so I wasn't sure how the pictures would turn out.  But he showed me the pictures and he got some good ones!  He was so proud of himself and I was proud of him too! 

On the porch, Emil always had a cup of coffee and drank it out of his Marine Corp or Denny's mug.  He bought the Denny's mug at their store and he liked it because it kept his coffee hot.  He also really liked eating at Denny's because they made his eggs just the way he liked them. And, more importantly, because they were so friendly there.  Those things mattered to him.  The waitress was always kind and refilled his cup of coffee even before he knew it needed refilling.  He appreciated and recognized kindness in people. 

Over the summer Emil gave me an angel figurine to thank me for being his friend. He told me that he also gave one to the woman at the insurance company that he has done business with for many years.  He said that he always talks to this one agent, and though they never met, she was always so helpful and kind and he wanted to thank her.  He sent her an angel to thank her for her kindness through the years. 

He appreciated people and it's why he would bring out a cold Pepsi to Leigh, our Mail Carrier, in the summer.  He would hear her truck go up the street and he knew that he had just enough time to get to his refrigerator and out to the driveway before she got to his house. Leigh became Emil's friend, one Pepsi at a time. 

When Emil was at Spartanburg Regional Hospital, first in the ICU wing, and then later in the hospital, he got to know all the staff that took care of him.  He was so appreciative of their care and couldn't get over how kind everyone was.  I would go to visit him almost every day and he always had a story about the gal who came in to clear his breakfast tray, or the man who cleaned up the room. He liked people and people liked him.  

It was because of Emil that I started donating cards to the SRH.  He wanted to give back to them because they were so kind to him.  The day that the two of us went to SRH to donate my cards is one of my fondest memories of Emil.  He was still recovering and tired easily, but he loved being able to visit with Jill Dugaw and thank her personally. 

While he was in the hospital he asked Richard to bring in some stained-glass night lights that he made.  Emil wanted to give them to some of the hospital staff because they took extra good care of him.  There was one woman whom he really liked.  He said she was young when her family came here from another country and she put herself through school to be a nurse.  He liked and admired that and he wanted to be sure to give her a stained glass piece. 

Emil was an extraordinary talented artist with stained-glass.  When I first met him, he brought out a book that he kept pictures in of all the big pieces he made.  Picture after picture was of beautiful and intricate stained-glass pieces. He said that he doesn't do the big pieces anymore, but he still works on little nightlights when he can.  I have two nightlights in my home and they are little works of art. 

I also have this custom piece that Emil made for me.  I brought him a pastel drawing that I've had forever - I loved how whimsical it was. I showed it to Emil and asked him if he could make it into a stained-glass piece for me.  He was a bit hesitant at first because his hands were shaky, but he got to work on it.  When he showed me the finished piece, I hugged him.  It's perfect!  I hang it proudly in my studio. 

Emil was a gifted woodworker as well and I saw lots of examples of his work in his photo albums too. He made many pieces for his children and grandchildren over the years. I could tell from the pictures that he put a lot of time into his pieces and that it was something he was proud of.  He had every right to be. 

I asked him if he could teach me how to work with glass because I had a few ideas for projects that I wanted to try.  We got a few lessons in, but it was either too hot or too cold in the garage, or something else came up that kept us from the lessons. Working with glass is time consuming, exact, very involved and messy. The soldering of the pieces is also very detailed and one that is mastered with practice.  I looked at some of his earlier pieces and the solder was smooth and clean. He was a master for sure. I admit that part of my hesitation was that I could never be that good at something. 

Emil was the kind of friend who walked you to the door whenever you left his house.  And he always stood in the doorway to watch you leave.  This is such a small little thing, but it always made me appreciate him more. My mom does the same thing and I do it too. I don't want anyone to leave my house without walking them out.  I figure that if I know them well enough to have them in my home, I'm pretty sure that I'm sad to see them leave as well. 

One time when I was having a sciatic flare-up, Emil bought me two different kinds of Tylenol to help me. He hated that I was in pain and he wanted to help me. This small gesture was typical Emil and his kindness touched me. 

Emil had a flag pole in his front yard and he proudly flew both the American and the Marine Corp flag.  He was a proud American and a proud Marine.  He would always comment on how much he enjoyed seeing all the homes on his street that flew the American flag.  Emil did not have an easy life and he served in both the WWII and the Korean War, but he never complained about it. He did it because that is what men of his generation did. But he deeply appreciated when other people loved his country too. 

Emil had a tremendous sweet tooth!  He had a dish with chocolate in the living room that I always made sure was full. If someone loved chocolate as much as I did, that dish would never show bottom.  He kept the Milky Way's in the refrigerator though because he liked them cold. His wife liked them too. Emil said he liked that they were nothing fancy, just the right blend of chocolate and caramel. His son bought him pastry, muffins and cake from Costco and he ate them for breakfast. He was 93 years old and you couldn't tell him it was bad for him. 

Some of my best memories of Emil are of seeing him and Missy together.  Missy thinks Emil hung the moon and scattered the stars.  She adored Emil and Emil adored Missy.  We spent time together doing other things, but the best memories are of the three of us sitting on his porch.  

Emil lived down the hill from us and whenever we turned the corner to get on his street, I had to let Missy go or else, I do believe, she would have dragged me across the yard to get to him. If she heard or saw Emil, it was all over, I had to let her go.

Emil bought treats for Missy and he always kept them in the breast pocket of his shirt.  Missy knew they were there and she sat staring at Emil, then his pocket, then Emil, then his pocket. He always saved one piece for "Bye-bye" and it drove Missy NUTS!  She loved visiting with Emil, but she wanted that bye-bye treat NOW!  As you can see, Missy is anything but subtle! 

Emil often shared  his leftovers with Missy.  A  little  bit of chicken or some turkey pieces.  One day he called me and asked me if it was okay for Missy to have shrimp. He had gotten a meal and there was some breaded shrimp in it.  He couldn't eat it all and wanted to share it with Missy.  I told him that I thought it would be okay, but maybe take off some of the breading.  The next morning Emil brings out the shrimp.  They were the mini, baby shrimps. I was expecting large pieces, but no, my dear friend took off all the breading of these mini shrimps to share with Missy.  That's the kind of friend he was. 

Emil decided one day that he was going to teach Missy tricks.  Oh how I laughed!  Missy is smart and she is a sweet dog no doubt, but Missy doesn't do anything that she doesn't want to do. But Emil believed in Missy and began the lessons.   

He taught her how to give her paw first.  Day after day, Emil worked with Missy.  Each time he coaxed her and he rewarded her with a treat. Sure enough, after a short while, Missy did it all by herself!  We both got to whooping it up real good!  Emil wasn't done though, next he got to work on teaching her to give her other paw.  He rewarded her achievements, but he knew she could do more.  He wasn't done with Missy. 

Once Missy mastered the paws, he began to teach her to "wait".  Wait required will-power and Missy, as I've shared, is not a "will-power" kind of dog.  Missy is all about now-power. This was hard, but little by little Emil worked with her and each time she extended her wait time.  That last morning we were at Emil's house, he gave Missy her final lesson and she mastered "Wait".  We were so proud of our Missy and I was so proud of Emil.  He did it!  He taught Missy "will-power".

Emil was so proud of Missy!  He just adored her and always asked how she was doing with her lessons.  When he was in the hospital, I brought in a picture of Missy for him to put up so he could see her everyday.  He got to talking to all the nurses and the staff about Missy.  One day when I was there he told me that he talked to one of the staff about Missy and she told him that if I called her a "therapy dog" we might can get her in there to see him.  I loved that he missed her that much, but we both agreed that Missy would never make it past the front lobby, what with her stopping at everyone she sees to get a belly rub and all. 

Back when I was on Facebook, I wrote a post about meeting Emil and I let him read it.  He was very quiet as he read, and when he was done he said "You wrote all those nice things about me?" Yes Emil, I did. He couldn't get over it. 

Another time, Emil asked me why I was his friend.  That was an easy question.  I told him that he was my friend because he cared about me and about the people that I cared about.  He was very kind to me, and to others, and I appreciated that. He listened and he said "Yeah?" I said "Yeah".  

Emil was proud of me and he loved my cards. He sent them out to people he knew and he once told me that they were "a lot better than any card you could buy".  I know he would have been tickled to see me on TV and he would have told me he was proud of me, he knew how important this was to me, and that I did good. In a time when people are so caught up in their own lives and barely have time to recognize or appreciate others, I will miss this about Emil.  He always had a kind word or gesture for me and for others.  I have many flaws, but I know of one thing that I was good at; I was good at being Emil's friend. But in all honesty, he made it easy. 

Emil, my dear, dear friend, thank you, I love you and rest easy in eternal peace.